ok, i'm really logging out...but here's some haiku to get you in the right frame of mind....

i'm sure everyone remembers creating haiku in about the 3rd grade....we wrote an entire poetry book that year...i still have mine....pathetic, i know, but still some of the most sincere and moving sentiments to come out of my pen in the last 39 years.....and so blatently honest....not to worry, these are not them....these are, um, how does one say....of a certain nature that is neither nurtured nor natural....these haiku....just....are.....how's that? very p.c.

remember. 5 syllables first row. 7 syllables second row. 5 syllables third row. that must convey the entire sentiment of your haiku, thematics if you will....please don't email me grief about how haiku needs to be a) in japanese or it's just words, or b) relevant to weather or a natural event, or c) flowing and emotional....if that's what you're looking for in your haikus (mind you for free....without any effort other than scrolling my page...), then please refrain from reading them and perhaps you might choose to go on to the next blog (top left corner of the blog header if i'm not mistaken....)

• Ab Fab preempted

By Queer Eye for the Straight Guy:

My life, on TV.

• Sitting at the bar.

My soul filled with deep longing

And deeper terror.

• No more empty sex:

It is interfering with

My TV schedule.

• "Hope springs eternal."

Don't people realize this is

A very bad thing?

• It's our second date,

And I'm not sure I love you.

It's time to break up.

• You were perfection.

Then you misspelled "embarrassed."

Don't call me again.

• "You understand, right?"

Yes, of course i understand.

(And I hope you die.)

• English has no words

For what we did together.

Oh, wait: "Tedious."

• Teens now: out, proud, and

Ignorant of Auntie Mame.

Pyrrhic victory?

• Your lips are so soft.

Your conversation graceful.

It's just -- you're not him.

• When he leaves the room,

If i don't burst into tears,

Then is it still love?

• I'm not judgmental.

It's just that I have standards

You will never meet.

• "The spark is just gone."

I can fix that easy, with

Some gas and a match.

• I'd say "I love you" --

But i'm worried that i won't

Mean it tomorrow.