can you beleive i haven't had a cig in 18 days and counting?

sometimes when the clock strikes midnight, and the entire world shifts into a new time zone, even as i cling to life as i know it, all the hardest to avoid vices are so easy to walk away from....i can quit smoking...i can quit wanting....i can quit joking...but somehow, i can't quit needing a hug and friend or two to share my life with on a daily basis....why is it so hard to meet people as a grown up and not scare the hell out of them with the intensity and honesty of who i am and where i am in life?