today i'm the windshield....

as the song so eloquently states: some days you're the windshield. some days you're the bug. some days you're the louisville slugger. some days you're just a fool in love.

why am i feeling so windshield-esque you ask? is it because i'm so emotionally transparent? is it because the high heat coupled with unbearable humidity outside in nyc today leaves me thinking i might melt? (nah, that would make me the lipstick in the cupholder, not the windshield). nope, it's because today, i proved once again (to myself), that good things happen to good people. what happened you say? well, baby steps...one man's good thing is another's frivolously spent afternoon in an otherwise leisurely life.....

so, i went back to the much dreaded but equally anticipated bed bath and beyond today....why you wonder? what is left to exchange? why, almost anything in my apartment that i don't use, i'll reply! in fact, last night, i spent a good amount of time digging thru my non-treasures and found a lotion dispenser that has never dispensed, a trash can that i many times almost put in the trash and a pencil holder that has never met a pencil in the time i've owned it (i'm an ink kind of guy - if you're afraid to commit to using permanent ink, you're probably not someone i'm tight with - after all, ink is the only way to right down a date on the calendar, pencil is far too easy to get out of. yep, you got it, i'm anal retentive about writing stuff on the calendar, ink only, and sticking to my commitments. sometimes i mess up or miss something, but not for lack of trying to be a responsible grown up.) so while my apartment fumigated yet again....i deserve, no, i NEED, a discount on bug bombs, i hit bb&b.... how much did i get you wonder? let's see....trash can was $40 bucks. damn. i got full price. i've owned that freaking thing since 1992 when i got it as a take home from work after the photo shoot on an advertisement i wrote for at&t. i think at&t paid for it originally...it matched the lotion non-dispenser. that thing has lived in 5 apartments with me. some very pricey realestate and life experience has been going on right in front of it's drip-proof spout. $17.99 for the spout! you must be kidding me. i don't know where i got that from, but it was a concerted effort to scrub it all down and air dry it in the sun on the fire escape. this brings my 2 day total for reverse shopping at bb&b to well over $200 in credit to buy things i really need!

astounding, really. i'm now scouring for more things to return....i have time and with my attention span being what it is, the shiny things on offer at bb&b really do appeal to me in this disgusting heat. oh, right, and i get to suck in all the free air conditioning i can handle until they close. only thing better than that would be if i were on payroll but didn't have to work there.

i got another one of the simplest but most life changing purchases while i was there today....i'm not even remotely sure how i missed it yesterday...but i was very busy for the 6 hours it took to find new ice cube trays there....it shouldn't be so challenging to locate them, yet alone, to decide on which ones to buy...they run the gambit from $2.99 per 2 pack (my personal final selection and so far they've made great cubes and i haven't had a tray shatter, unlike the ones they're replacing). today, i found: a butter dish.

butter is my favorite. like paula deen, i find butter makes me happy. like jello, there's always room for butter. in fact, i got an anchor hocking glass butter dish with lid, a mere $2.99, that's such a bargain i almost feel like i should buy a backup...just in case....but i'm trying to outfit the homestead, not go all philanthropic at bb&b!

the proof of my good things quorum occurred during my second trip to bb&b today. yes, that's right, i went back after 3 hours of free a.c. - i really was consumed while i was there but i had to leave for the post office to mail ron's package before they closed and then i wanted to get my other stuff from storage....needless to say, ron's getting his box. my stuff is still locked in the basement of 524 west 23rd street since i couldn't get a car service willing to pick me up since i wasn't leaving the city. jackass! i know! the moving company that moved my furniture told me they could do it around 8pm (this was before 5), and it would be $108. yeah, let me explain how that works....it doesn't.

so the man at the storage place told me to hail a cab. i told him to bite me.

that's when i decided to leave. i decided i needed to see HARRY POTTER tonight instead. you know, dark theater, padded comfy, lot's of air conditioning, some people watching and junk food from the drug store across the street. turns out harry wasn't playing near me. damn the fickle finger of fate.

fuggedaboutit. i went back to bb&b since it's on the way to the subway....all the way across town from where my things are in limbo.

now for the 3 hours i'd shopped earlier and spent 3.27, i'd been looking at the clearance rack...a 4 sided rolling treasure trove of nothing but color and very expensive drapes and curtains....i found the most gorgeous red velvet drapery buried in the mass of crap. they were $89 per panel originally and i found them marked down to $29. i would have bought 2 and just used one on each window, but alas, they only had one. next.

i found gorgeous red silk drapes, fully lined with blackout lining, which has been my issue lately since the bedroom is way to freakin' light in the morning. they were originally $99 per panel. i found two. one was $29 and one was $19. i bought them both, i asked the cashier to give me them both for $19 since it's obviously mis-marked at the higher price. she didn't. they weren't. one is 84" long which is the exact size of my window. the other was 105" which just reaches the floor. i thought i might keep them and put the shorter one over the a.c. unit since it needs to be unblocked anyway, but turns out, i don't like the one that goes to the floor - it doesn't puddle and it doesn't look nice. maybe if i'd found four...but i hate to be greedy....after all.....

i also found a very nice red print fabric drape from nautica. it's the ludlow pattern, which is kind of viney. there were 2 packs of them, they're heavy, they're lined, and they have a good pattern with kind of a gold color. they were $49 per panel originally, and they were marked down to $14.99. i bought both, thinking i'll try another bb&b and maybe find 2 more....now I MUST. when i checked out, these panels were super duper reduced and i got them for $6.99 each!!!! granted, i only put one on each window, but i tied them back, so the a.c. isn't impeded and i'll put the other down to block out light before bed tonight.

when i moved in here, i said i would have a red kitchen. i'm working on that. turns out, i've been collecting red for other parts of home, way before i ever had one here....even my throw pillows, for couch and bed are in shades of red! who knew?

so as you can tell, having a lot of time to burrow into the depths of certain clearance racks can really pay off...i mean, sure, it cost me 5 hours of my life, but what else was i going to do with it?

oh, and too prove that good things really do occur....harry potter was playing at the theater a few blocks away from the subway after i finished shopping tonight. and, for once, when i got there, there was only 1 person ahead of me in line, the movie start time was within 10 minutes of buying my ticket (meaning i didn't miss the first 15 minutes and the previews), i didn't pee on myself while i juggled my bags and my business which almost never works for me, and the movie was really good - in fact, it was long and i was shocked to find i'd just sat for 2.5 hours when i hit the sidewalk again.

now, that's what i call good things happening to good people.